Thursday, October 15, 2009


Today, I had to go to a place called after care. At my school if your parents are working late, you go to after care. I thought my friend Molly was going to be there but she wasn't. While I was there, I wrote a story. I would like to share it with you. I hope you like it:

RRIINNGG! The school bell rang and I jumped out of my seat and ran to get home. As I was coming out of school, I realized that it was already 3:30! I thought it was 3:00! I was going to miss the bus! I was scared. As I was walking down to the bus, the misty air made a cool breeze, and brushed it on me. Through the misty air, I could see two busses waiting for kids. My fingers were crossed that one of them would be my bus. When I could see the busses, neither of them were mine. The weird thing was, I was the only kid there, waiting for the bus.

I looked to the left, and five more busses were coming. I looked at the watch on my wrist. It still said 3:30. I looked at all five busses. I knew they weren't the regular busses. I was partially reluctant to go on them, but when I saw my bus driver swing the door open, I got on. There were already people on the bus. I didn't get it all. I took a seat and the bus driver asked,'' Where to?" I looked at him confused. " Um..... 26th Avenue," I replied.

Not even three seconds later we were there. I got off. There were cleaning supplies all over my lawn. It was probably my cleaning lady, Marta. She comes to my house every Friday, and it was Friday. I quick ran down the steps. For some reason, it felt like something changed. Suddenly, it occurred to me. It was a warm, sunny day. I liked it better than the gloomy weather at school. For some reason, I had a queasy feeling in my stomach. It felt like nobody was home. Not even Marta was home. Maybe I was sick. The bus driver asked me something, but I wasn't sure what. I heard sweater in the question, but I was wearing my sweater.

I went up the stairs to the bus. The ridges on the stairs sank into my feet. The door slammed shut! I looked for an exit. The back door of the bus was open, so I took my chances and sprinted out of the bus. Vroom! Five more other busses came up my driveway. Two busses were hanging out of the end of my driveway. A woman with short brown hair came out of the bus behind mine. I could tell she was chewing gum because I could smell the sweet smell of spearmint coming from her mouth. " Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded my head with confusion in my mind. The lady put her arm around my shoulder and asked," Is anyone in your house?" She looked up at my house, and then to me. I put my hands toward her shoulder pushed her arm off of mine. " I really don't know," I replied. She put her arm back around me. This time, it felt a little comforting. It felt good to have at least one person who cares about me.

The cleaning supplies were still scattered all over my lawn and the busses were still parked in the driveway. The lady walked me to the front door of my house, and rang the doorbell. No one answered it. I pushed on the door, and it opened. It was silent in the house, but suddenly, I could hear my mom saying," Shao, get up. Don't dilly-dally so we won't miss the bus." Everything turned black, and my eyes fluttered open. I was in my pajamas, in my bed, in my bedroom. My mom was sitting on my bed. It was all a dream. I heaved a big sigh. I was so happy to be home.

THE END

Did you like my story? If you did, please comment. I have a lot more to post, but this is all for now. Bye!!!

3 comments:

  1. Dear Shao,

    This is your cousin Patrick. I am posting through my own blog for a writing group I run here in Florida called The Abbreviated Writers' Group of Wesley Chapel. We write poems and very short stories much like the one you posted here. What a fantastic story with wonderful tension and surprises around every corner! It's so great that you are giving up television for a whole year in order to write. It may seem hard now, but it will be worth it, as you are making an investment in the life of the mind, a gift no one can ever take from you. It sure seems to be paying off already! I hope you keep posting your excellent stories here on your blog. Say hello to your mom and dad for me.

    Your cousin,

    Patrick

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  2. Dear Shaoabunga:

    Wow, what a great story! I liked it so much, I read it twice! I am really proud of you!

    Giving up TV may seem tough at first, but when you see all of the great and fun things that you can do instead of watching it, you may never go back. I love to read, and based on how well you write, I bet you like to read too. There are literally thousands of books to read with great stories and exciting characters. One of my favorite books of all time is titled Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume. It is really funny and it is based in New York. If you haven't read it, you should. I read it to Jack and Matthew recently and we all laughed our heads off!

    Great work, Shaoabunga!!!

    Love,

    Uncle Bern

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  3. Hey Shao, its Megan, you better know me. I loved your story, I thought it was real at first. I love those stories about something crazy happening and then you find out its just a dream. You made it sound so real, I felt like I was in your shoes. Keep up the good work.
    Love you with all my heart
    Megan

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